After many a blunder, infamous Victorian Premier Terry Palmerston was finally officially voted out of office on Friday.
In honour of this, I’ve compiled a list of his biggest mistakes, gaffes, and embarrassing moments.
During a heated argument in Parliament about the carbon tax, he began crying and punching the air wildly while screaming “Stop the boats! Stop the bloody boats!” He then fainted.
During a visit to a farm, he attempted to eat an orange whole, choked, was rushed to hospital, then upon his release immediately tried to eat two oranges whole.
In an interview on Sixty Minutes, he claimed climate change was created by wizards, then when the reporter attempted to explain the science behind it, he put his fingers in his ears and sung the chorus to “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind very loudly.
When discussing an Australian soldier’s recent death to a superior officer, he started laughing so hard he vomited all over him.
During a difficult interview on the 7:30 Report concerning his constant “flip flopping”, he attempted to give the host a Chinese Burn but failed as he got his tie stuck to his chair.
In a press conference, when asked what the most important thing he had done for the women of Australia was during his time in office, he replied “Oh, who cares about the bloody women? As my son says, bro’s before ho’s ay? Ay? Ay? Ay?” He continued asking “Ay?” until all the press eventually got bored and left.
During a radio interview, when the caller he was speaking to revealed she was a sex worker, he started having a wank.
When asked on Sunrise about Indigenous rights, he responded “Look mate, we grew here…they didn’t…grew here. As the French say, vini vidi vici.” He then dramatically dropped the mic. He then apologised and made a phone call to organise a replacement microphone. Six minutes into the phone call it was pointed out to him that he was actually talking into a muesli bar.
When questioned about his greatest achievements as the Premier of Victoria to date, he stared into the distance for three minutes, then muttered “yeah nah.” He then wet himself.
He carried an entire bucket of mustard to Parliament, only to trip on the carpet and spill it all over the Speaker of the House. He then tried to run away but slipped on a banana peel and fell through the window, landing in a public toilet, which then exploded.
And that’s all just from his first week in office!!!!!!
Heh heh, nah but seriously, he is not real.