Ever since Christmas was invented, we’ve had the honour of seeing our favourite characters from the television shows we love celebrating it, just like us ordinary boring nonfictional folk do, and that makes us feel good.
Sure, Halloween specials are kinda cool, and Thanksgiving spectaculars can be a bit of fun, but nothing makes you feel all warm, fuzzy and nice like drinking eight beers, and then watching a Christmas episode of a TV show.
It was incredibly painstakingly difficult to narrow the list down to just five episodes, until I realised this was meant to be a top ten, so then I had to think of a few more, which took another couple of weeks, but I got there.
Enjoy! Or as they say in the North Pole “Enjoy! Ho ho ho, it’s Christmas!”
Another Crumpet Eh, Bishop? – Merry Christmas, Reverend Foghart
In this heart-warming episode of the beloved British sitcom, the long-suffering Reverend manages to save Christmas for the dysfunctional residents of the village Hogsplat, all while experiencing his fair share of double entendres, awkward encounters and hilarious misunderstandings. The highlight has got to be when Sister Wensleydale accidentally seduces the mayor’s son.
Cincinnati Hustle – One Night In December
Even a gritty crime drama focusing on the members of the Cincinnati based Grinetti mob family managed to produce a sweet Christmas ep, which primarily deals with Antonio “Fists” Vencino attempting to rob a jewellery store as a present for the Don’s wife.
Some neat festive moments are also peppered throughout the episode in its subplots, like rival mob boss Alfonso Vendetta waking to find his reindeer’s head in his bed and Frankie Blueballs strangling a snitch to death with Christmas lights.
Madame Macintosh Murder Mysteries – The Mysterious Case Of The Missing Gifts At Murder Manor
Madame Macintosh fans were delighted when the English Broadcasting Corporation released this surprise special, decades after the original series wrapped up. When Count Windglass’s prized presents are stolen at his annual ball, Madame Macintosh must throw away her plans to have an investigating-a-mystery-free Christmas and help solve the case. Even though actor Dame Helen Carrington came out of retirement at the age of ninety-three for this episode, you wouldn’t pick it, with her near perfect delivery of classic lines like “gosh” and “what.”
Taxidermy Boyz – Merry Pissmas
The Christmas themed episode of the hilarious reality prank and stunt series is a whole lot of fun. Grotty Macavoy eats a plum pudding made of laxatives then defecates down a chimney while dressed as Santa, Crunch Lopez sticks a candy cane up his butt and vomits into a stocking, and Paul “Butt” Ireland drinks urine while Jingle Bells plays.
Blood Brothers – Santa Stage!
From Darren getting competitive at backyard cricket to Rhonda falling into the pavlova, this festive episode of the classic Aussie sitcom Blood Brothers perfectly sums up Christmas in Australia. The scene where all the family members, even Blood matriarch Ruth, come out dressed as Santa is a definite series highlight. As Barry himself says in the closing scene, “aw bloody heck, god bless us, every drongo!”
Yärknip! – Yärknip And His Friends Celebrate Christmas
In this special edition of the popular Swedish claymation children’s series, Yärknip and his pals Klekhörn and Vërm must save Christmas, when Sweden’s gift giver Spräkvëns is eaten by The Gobblemonster. This nonsensical masterpiece is perfect to put on when you’re passing the Christmas bong around.
On Your Marks, Get Set, Food – Christmas Lunch Challenge!
There’s plenty of excitement and awesome recipe ideas in the Christmas special of this daytime cooking game show. Team Beetroot whips up a turkey stuffed with mac and cheese and custard, while Team Eggplant wins the episode with their amazing eggnog and cranberry sauce cocktail. Resident judge Geoff Jacobson says in the 3,456 episodes he’s appeared in, it’s the episode he remembers best, due to the chronic diarrhea he experienced.
Heaven High – Jesus’ Birthday Bash
If you’d have told me ten years ago that a teen drama set at a high school in heaven, which every dead person attends because when they die they revert to teenage form, would last ten seasons, I’d say actually it’s eleven seasons you idiot, and I have them all on DVD, except Season 4 which I lent my buddy Dale who I don’t really see anymore so I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back, but no biggie as it’s one of the weaker seasons.
In this particularly emotional episode of the show, Jesus is annoyed that his birthday is being overshadowed by cocky Abe Lincoln’s big Christmas shindig. Jesus’ crush Cleopratra convinces him to throw a rival party, which results in God’s house being trashed, and Isaac Newton overdosing in the bathroom. This episode not only taught a lot of the young audience that it was OK to be sad about things, but also inspired many to take up skateboarding, thanks to the scene where Jesus scores his first ever kiss by beating Mussolini in a skate off.
Pink Slips – Merry Christmas, You’re Fired
The Christmas special of this work based sitcom also doubles as the Season 3 finale, and features some vintage moments like Frank giving Merv a sandwich for Secret Santa, Paula challenging Sandy to a dance off and of course, the will they/won’t they storyline between Danny and Evelyn coming to a satisfying climax when they have sex under the mistletoe. Oh and you just can’t go past a drunk Horace at the Christmas Party telling the new area manager (guest star Joey Griffin) to “screw off, homeslice.”
The Santa Claus Show! – A Very Santa Claus Christmas
In this special episode, cranky and crotchety Santa is visited by three ghosts, which inspires him to see the true meaning of Christmas. He gives all his elves bonuses, buys Mrs Claus a new microwave, and decides not to eat Rudolph for dinner. This episode is apparently non-canon as in the very next episode Santa Goes To Vegas he leaves his drug dealer to die in the desert while laughing.