They sip drinks instead of scullin’.
They wear ties when it’s not even a costume party.
They drink coffee that’s not iced.
They wear belts from the store.
Their clothes don’t have cheesecake stains.
They use laundry baskets instead of plastic bags.
They know the difference between red and white wine.
They use the grammars.
They use water bottles instead of old Red Bull cans.
They can list more than none kind of books.
They use plates instead of their laps.
They listen to the radio that’s not FM.
They know how to pronounce words with the little things above the letters.
They know the name of the little things above the letters.
They know how travel works.
They wear matching shoes.
They know how to use analog time.
They work in places like offices or departments or jobs.
They always wear seatbelts even when they’re driving.
They know their housemate’s name.
They know how to not break things.
Their key rings contain keys and not just bottle openers.
They make their bed.
They own a bed.
They understand the concept of risk.
They use deodorant instead of having a little tree air freshener as a necklace.
Their pillow cases contain actual pillows.
They don’t punch ATM machines while crying.
They have a receipts drawer instead of a KFC moist towelettes drawer.
They don’t have a Goldfinger song as their ringtone.
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